a new year!

i havent blogged in ages. months.. so i suppose no one bothers reading this anymore.
which, weird as it seems, is actually a comforting thought! it's nice to know i can Really, truly, just type away here...
anyway yes, college has started and SPM results are coming out soon. the not-so-lovely nightmares of 5/7As has struck and turned me into a nervous mess :S
i mean seriously. today i woke up (slightly jetlagged) because of the alarm next door. hah. it went off at 4. and i couldnt go back to bed because all i could think about was the horrible thing called SPM results.

anwyay.
today i went back to school for swimming gala! was nice. but saddening.. it's like.. it's not a part of me any longer! i dont have a place i need to be, anything i need to do.. it's a weird feeling. such a change from juggling kepoing the class store and running to do the relay.. and cheering.
yeah. it was weird.
made me depressed and all.. i'm not old, and i still have the mentality of a lower secondary kid.
but i dont fit in anywhere really, not now! not in school, not in college.. it's bizarre. i know, change is necessary for us to move on. i realise that, i do! but it's just depressing. it's exciting but scary and all. i hate how people drift apart. i hate how we change. how i change. how things change...

funny, isnt it. i was walking along battersea bridge in london sometime last week and i realised something weird. i love the view along the bridge, but until that day, i had only ever looked to one side of the bridge, no matter which side of the bridge i walked.. not really an epiphany, is it? but still. how many times do you see, without actually seeing? i know i do, loads. maybe that's why i never know my way about.=s.

but yes. walking about london this time, i noticed so many things i had never before. (it's not likely that theyre new either, Heh, i mean, theyre old!) it was strange. there are so many pretty things about. ordinary, simple things which are so easily unnoticed...

anyway yes. it feels better, ranting here. but i just realised i have a mechanics assignment. whoops. :)